The last day of term - the Christmas one, too. It's always been a tiring term and the last day often exhausting.
However, the need by modern management for complete control freakery meant that everything was tied down and ran with almost military precision (cliches-r-us). They in their infinite wisdom decided to ask the pupils what they would prefer for "Christmas Dinner". Evidently, the answer came back as "Turkey Burgers and Chips" (I kid you not). So, Turkey Burgers and Chips it was with a Veggie Burger as a sop for the more fussy eaters. What happened? Very few of the little dears opted for the Christmas meal because they wanted a "proper Christmas Dinner".
Last year they asked the pupils what they wanted for a school uniform. "Blazers and ties" they all demanded which appealed to the management - why, they'd all look smart all the time. Well, shirts out, ties in all sorts of ridiculous shapes or just hanging barely done up around their stomachs. And blazers? "In my bag, sir".
It would appear obvious to most intelligent people that asking kids what they want is the last thing you should do. We spend all our time trying to get them to look smart with no real sanctions to help. Given this is the result of asking them what they want for a) uniform and b) Christmas Dinner guess what c) might be?
Give up? I'll tell you - they ask them how they want to be taught. I'll leave it at that but you can probably fill the blanks in yourselves.
Meanwhile, back at school . . .after the hordes of pupils had gone and the last plates cleared away, the uneaten Turkey Burgers thrown away, we had our end of term meeting. Usually this means saying a "fond farewell" to the lucky ones who've escaped. This year, so far, no one has left. Our glorious leader gave a brief Christmas speech in full Mr Grace mode ("You've all done very well") which involved a large box of Fortune Cookies sent in by a proud parent - the use by date was probably "Year of the Rat" - which he went around the staff room offering to the staff.
Amongst all the "trust your intuition" and "good luck comes your way in a telephone call" fortunes, mine read: "you are soon going to change your present line of work".
How did he do that?