I had woken on Monday morning with a painful left foot which I believed I had somehow bruised or "strained" - a term my mother used to use for any unexplained pain. That or what she called "growing pains". I'm fairly sure I've stopped growing, although I suppose "growing old pains" could be the reason. We had ordered a load of seasoned wood which was delivered on Sunday. As we have no back entrance to our property, it was dumped unceremoniously on the street about 9:30am and I had to wheel it around in a wheel barrow whilst Mrs Dave put the said logs into the new log store. This is when I assumed I had "sprained" my foot, possibly by pushing the barrow too heavily up a small ramp. I definitely didn't drop anything on my foot, nor did I kick anything.
Meanwhile, back at Monday. We had to do some dreaded shopping for the current seasonal reasons on Monday afternoon and my aching foot got worse. By yesterday it was agony at times. So after a night out in Ipswich last night with some friends, where the general consensus of opinion worryingly confirmed my own suspicions, I decided I had better go to see a quack and get it diagnosed. Hence the visit to Dr Olga. Our usual doctor was on holiday, which he seems to have a remarkable amount of. That's rich coming from a teacher, I know.
Still, I was lighter on my (one good) foot after leaving the surgery. Although doubtful, Mrs Dave guessed why immediately. When I texted one of the aforesaid friends to inform him that it was good news as I had only fractured a small bone in my foot, he replied, "and that's good news?"
"Well a fracture is only for Christmas, not for life. Unlike Gout."
Yes, all my friends and Mrs Dave all assured me that I had gout. A life-changing infliction I am assured. However, it appears to be a mere fracture which the sawbones seemed to think was something you can do just by walking. I spent my whole childhood avoiding fractures and breaks only to start breaking things in my fifties. A double shoulder break about four years ago and now a fractured bone in my foot. Great. Still, it could have been worse. It could have been the dreaded gout.
The night out in Ipswich was excellent. A real drinker's pub, The Fat Cat was the scene. Not only do they brew their own beer but they supply cutlery and plates and takeaway menus. They wash up, all you have to do is turn up and drink loads of beer. Which we did. Beer and a very decent Indian takeaway and a lift there and back too by a sober friend. A good evening all round.
|Proof that Jesus may not have been totally confident in |
walking on water - notice life ring attatched to his head.
"Er, you've got gout because of all that red wine."
"Okay, you're Jesus."
I hope you all enjoyed St Thomas's Day and did something charitable.